How To Be A Great Wedding Guest

Written By Heather Leacy

If someone you love sent this to you, they want you to know a couple of things:

  • You are so important to them, and they are SO excited to share their wedding with you.

  • Your presence is e v e r y t h i n g. Everything. Really.

Wedding etiquette usually focuses on what to wear or whether or not to bring a gift - this is NOT that kind advice. (Nor am I here to tell you not to take photos.) This advice is all about how to show up well for some of your favorite people on a day that’s really important to them.


DO

  • Share the moment with them by being fully present WITH them.

  • HYPE THEM UP! Gush compliments. Tell them how amazing they are and how excited you are to be there.

  • If you are a close friend/family and notice that they’re looking overwhelmed, find a discreet moment to pull them aside and ask how you can support them.

  • Check to make sure your phones - including any regular alarms you have set! - are on silent before the ceremony! (So embarrassing and distracting if you get a call or an alarm goes off. I’ve accidentally done this, and it was AWFUL. Eek.)

  • Take photos! Pull out those phones during the reception and take selfies! If the couple made a hashtag, use it! Take photos of your friend groups that are there! (*Some disclaimers to this in the don’ts section)
    I have absolutely zero qualms about people taking personal photos during weddings. They can be a super fun way to engage in the joy of the day and offer the couple an unique perspective. That said, please #1 be sure to respect the couples wishes around photography, and also respect the time and talent of the paid professional(s) the couple has hired. Don’t be that person that gets in the way of the first kiss by jumping in the aisle or tries to direct couples photos. And as much as possible, please keep your phones tucked away during the ceremony… They want to see your faces. Not your face taking a picture of their ceremony.

  • It’s easy to get caught up in doing allthethings on your wedding day and forget to drink water or eat enough (protein especially). If they’re super busy saying hi to everyone, ask if can grab them a small plate or some water! Or maybe slip a protein bar in your pocket to offer when you see them.

  • PLEASE sign the guest book, do the craft, take home a gift… If they planned an activity, JOIN IN. They’ve put so much thought and usually months of preparation into these little details, and it’s a bummer if people don’t do or take home the thing.

  • Share a favorite memory or the best advice you were given - the reception or a handwritten card is a great time for this.

  • Bonus points if you keep a couple of “emergency kit” items with you like shout wipes, baby wipes (they’re magic), bandages, and a safety pin! The couple probably has some somewhere, but these really come in handy.

  • GO ALL OUT on the dance floor. Let yourself have fun!

DON’T

  • Post photos of the couple or their outfits prior to their ceremony. You do not want to ruin the excitement of someone’s first look.

  • Post photos of the wedding on social media before the couple. (It’s their marriage & their news to tell!) Some couples really want to be able to share the first photos of their wedding day themselves. Please ask before posting anything to social media.

  • Y’all I have to say it. Please do not enter the aisle in any way (stand, sit, kneel, squat; etc.) during the ceremony. Stay actually sitting down in your seats and participate however they invite you to. Sneaking a quick photo can be ok, but often that ends up bein 20+ people with phones in their faces, and… it’s not cute.

  • Don’t take photos of other guests’ children. A lot of families are opting to keep their children’s faces and identities off of social media, and this is a thoughtful way to be respectful toward families with young children.

  • Don’t drink too much. If alcohol is served (and you’re 21+), you’re invited to enjoy it in a responsible manner. Stay sober… tipsy and drunk at a wedding is never funny and can damage relationships. Also, don’t forget to plan ahead for a designated driver. Please make it home safe. <3

  • Don’t forget to say hi and share your joy! Even if it’s a quick hug and excited screech. They invited you for a reason - go say hi!

HAVE THE BEST TIME CELEBRATING, and I hope to see you on the dance floor!

Heather Leacy
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